


Tchotckes

by booabug (allthisink)



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Roommates, Soulmates, idek if i have the grounds to tag that, meowdy, teen for language rn, wtf do i categorize this as
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2018-12-11 08:16:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 14,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11710452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allthisink/pseuds/booabug
Summary: A bin to throw my miscellaneous fics, bits of fics, snippets of potential fics, etc. (until they get out of hand and end up getting their own works...) Tchotcke is a fun word. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯Chapter 13: (adrinette) Tickled Pink ~900 wordsNeither could have seen what was to come. She, oblivious to his presence; he, oblivious to the fact that his sweet, shy, and unerringly gentle classmate would respond to the touch of his fingers on her ribs with a strike driven hard into his gut.





	1. (adrinette) paper tigers, 1670 words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part of a story that I've been mulling over in my mind for a while, but will probably never get around to. It would be... Very complicated, long, and have tons of stuff involved. The working title keeps changing, but right now I'm calling it Paper Tigers in my head after the Beck song. Basically, the squad's lives are pretty tough right now, especially the heroes'. Adrien kind of has the worst of it, because I love him, and want him to be happy, and he's already got the most awful circumstances. So I must hurt him.

“No, I know the projected ROI is low, but that’s based on current performance.” Adrien’s grip was white knuckled on his phone as he paced his office hunched over, feeling more and more coiled up by the second. For as executive large it was, it felt way too small. “We’re talking about a new mother, dealing with the stress of a startup company, including investors who don’t even know about the industry or what talent looks like threatening to pull out.”

“I’m not giving you a sob story,” He slammed the side of a fist against the wall once he had turned his phone hand away from it. “I’m saying her current performance isn’t nearly what it could be. Besides, even as is, her asking price grossly undervalues her company.”

He grit his teeth and continued pacing, glancing out the windows once in a while. “It’s _not_ a charity case. It’s mutually beneficial. Not every takeover for Gabriel has to be black knight.”

Adrien listened, stalking back and forth. He stopped, bristling as the other man's voice became white noise.

He cut in, snarling, “That’s because I am _not_ my father.”

There was silence on the other end of the line.

“Nothing else to say? Good. Continue negotiations. Don’t lowball her. End of discussion, Durand.”

“Ex-excuse me, Monsieur Agreste?” A small voice came from the door

Adrien turned to meet them, stepping to be square with them, and said in a halting voice, “Yes. Can I help you.”

“I just- I was told to give you these proposals to look over?” The poor young assistant looked like he accidentally unlatched the gate of a tiger cage. Adrien took a deep breath and reminded himself that as desperately as he wanted to throw out management like Durand- physically, if possible- he shouldn’t look like it.

“Right, excuse me, I just didn’t hear you knock.” Adrien began to walk over, slowing when he noticed a slight flinch. He took the stack of papers by hand, and gave the young man what he meant to be a reassuring smile. “Sorry you had to see that, thanks for this.”

“No, no, it must be stressful, Monsieur, and of course. Just doing my job,” he gave a strained smile. “Um, do _you_ need anything?”

“Maybe a break before I look these over,” Adrien made a conscious effort to stand upright and release the tension in his jaw and shoulders. He gave himself a moment to regain composure as his employee's darted eyes between his and anywhere else. “How are you settling in, Bernard?”

“Oh! Sort of rough... Though I know I’m really lucky! Really! I still can’t believe how great the benefits package is at Gabriel! Or… Or that you know my name?”

“Yeah, well, it’s too big a company to learn everyone’s, but I figure I should know at least my direct employees', all down the line. That way I can pull out the middle name and everything when I’m not mad, just disappointed.” Bernard tried to cover a smile with the side of his fist. Adrien huffed with a mixture of relief and amusement himself.

He rubbed his sore jaw as he thought. “Yeah… Tell the chief assistant I’m taking a break, but I’m on call, if you please.”

“Right, I’ll do that. Thanks, Monsieur.”

“Take it easy.” Bernard left with a soft click of the office door.

Adrien's smile fell as soon as the man left. He walked over to his desk, throwing the stack of papers over with a slap as they landed. Stretching his shoulders and cricking his neck, he groaned. Just taking a walk usually helped, but he could use a bite to eat and some strong coffee, preferably with a close friend. He pulled out his personal phone this time and opened the contacts list. He felt Plagg fly out of his coat and loaf on his shoulder. He looked over. His kwami said nothing, but there was a slight frown in that familiar green gaze. He quickly looked back to his phone.

Nino was his go to guy of course, and always a sympathetic ear, but a bit too laid back for a conversation like this. Being told to just walk away or literally kick some managerial ass was the last thing he needed to hear right now.

Alya could, well, always did, get carried away talking about whatever she was investigating for the paper at the time. It was nice to just absorb himself in her work, her process, and how passionate she was about it, but… She worked the crime beat. Again, did not need suggestions of violence on his mind right now. What was with him and longtime friends who encouraged him to cause bodily harm or put it in his mind?

There was one person too sweet to do things like that, and understood business stress too, but… Adrien’s thumb hovered over her portrait. She _was_ sweet. Too sweet. Never could say say no, and wouldn’t to him even if he had really messed everything up between them, and now wanted to hang out for the express purpose of unloading his burdens onto her. How was that fair at all? Even if his friends hadn’t been telling him lately that he was changing, he knew it. It put him on edge, and he was constantly doing his best to basically not be an utter dick. This seemed like a pretty dick move. If he was going to meet up and try to mend their friendship, he shouldn’t do it with ulterior motives. Then again, he really didn’t know what the right time could be. Certainly not now, he thought, but when? He had considered the question before, a lot, and he could never come up with an answer. _‘Oh hey, I know you’ve always been a better friend than I could possibly ask for, or deserve, then I crushed your heart and started avoiding you even once_ you _started reaching out to me again when_ I _should have been the one to do that, but now I suddenly_ _really want to_ _hav_ _e_ _you back in my life, so_ _even though_ _-’_

The sound of ringing from his phone snapped him out of his thoughts. Oh my god, he was calling Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s picture was on his phone, which said, “Calling...”

Plagg looked up from where his tiny paws were pressing on Adrien’s thumb with a shit-eating grin.

Adrien glared, then fumbled to catch his phone as he felt it slipping out of his hand. Fuck. He did catch it, but was it too late to hang up?

“Hello?”

Shit, shit, _shit._ “Adrien?”

The Adrien in question was extremely flustered. He subconsciously leaned his elbow against the nearest wall, rested his head on his hand, and crossed one leg over the other gracefully. He mouthed, ‘Fuck you,’ at Plagg and brought his phone up to his ear so quickly, he hurt himself. Plagg snickered and flew onto Adrien’s shoulder to eavesdrop.

Right. Okay. Ignore the asshole god of destruction on your shoulder. Say hi. Say her name. “Marinette! Hi.”

Nice. You did it.

Wait. Damn it, what came next? How do you converse again?

“Oh hey, Adrien! It’s been a while. What’s up?”

“Haha, it has been, hasn’t it? Nothing, just… That...” _Why did he call again?!_ “Right, um, I know this is sudden, and I totally understand if you say no. It’s just that I sort of wanted to catch up, and, honestly... Talk to somebody who knows how stressful business can be, so, if you don’t mind, and you’re free soon, we could grab a bite to eat? If you want?”

He just chewed out a six, maybe seven figure salary high powered businessman with so much seniority on him that, if it weren’t for nepotism, he’d be packing up his desk right now. _Why was this so_ _damn_ _hard?_

“Sounds great! I could use a break and some venting myself,” she groaned. He could just imagine her sprawling backwards into her chair and spinning it right now.

“Aw no, rough going over there too?”

“Yeah. I mean nothing super out of the ordinary, but you know how it is. Probably. I don’t know, I’ll tell you in person.”

“Jeez, you sound pretty roughed up to me. So you’re free, then?”

“We could meet up in... maybe a half an hour. I just need to finish things up quickly over here.”

“That’s plenty of time for me, don’t rush or anything! I don’t really know any good places for coffee, do you?”

“Um… Do you know the Prado cafe?”

“Kind of, maybe? I'll look it up.”

“Yeah it's sort of hole in the wall, but that's part of the charm. I usually go there, is that fine with you? It’s not too far from my office, but I don’t know about yours.”

It was far from his office.

“Not at all, sounds great! I’ll be there. I should let you get back to it, but I’m really looking forward to seeing you again.”

“Same here! I’m really glad you called, Adrien. Bye.”

“Bye, Mari. See you.”

Huh.

Huh. That went well.

Initial panic aside, it was really easy to talk to her; as if nothing had happened at all.

She said she was glad he’d called. That she was looking forward to seeing him again too.

Was it wishful thinking, or was that as sincere as it had sounded to him?

Maybe... Maybe Marinette missed him too.

“You can thank me later with extra gooey Camembert,” Plagg said smugly. “Once you can function again.”

With a start, Adrien looked up and around him, in his private office, where no one ever entered without knocking. He didn’t know how long he had been looking down at his, ‘Call ended,’ screen with a goofy smile, or when he had started posing. Damn it, Nino was right, he was always posing. He cleared his throat, but refused to look at Plagg as he held open his coat jacket for him to hide in again.


	2. (adrinette) College Roommates AU, 900 words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette questions her decision making skills and life. She’s moving in with a guy she’s kind of been really into for forever, and just moving day has her hot and bothered in the worst ways. Meanwhile, Adrien couldn’t be more sure that asking Marinette to be his roommate was the best thing to do. (It’s alright, she comes around to agreeing.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A combination of [AU Yeah August](https://auyeahaugust.tumblr.com/post/174949140300/) Day 2, College, plus [Miraculous Fluff Month](https://miraculousfluffmonth.tumblr.com/post/174986254891/) Day 1, Roommates and kinda Day 2, Safe.

Marinette had thought that the first night of being roommates with Adrien would be nerve-wracking.

Oh, yeah, they’d formed an easy friendship over the years. The number of times she stumbled over words? Less than the times they bantered and joked! Her uncontrollable smiling was down to a very socially acceptable level at his constant leaning in and shoulder squeezing. Plus! Plus, whenever he caught her, she would just give a quick thanks and right herself. No gawking. Except yesterday.

Yesterday was moving day, on a day that didn’t know summer was ending. This meant a sweaty Adrien in athletic shorts and t-shirt clinging to every bit of his body and Marinette being acutely aware that he was even more well built than previously thought. Evidence? The view every time he pushed or pulled or lifted furniture and boxes, or slicked his hair back from his forehead.

Also the view when he caught her, stumbling over herself for _reasons,_ and she reverted to frozen staring.

If most people got unbelievably hotter when cleaned up in formal wear then Adrien, with his hint of cologne and semi-formal street style, got unbelievably hotter when faintly musky in unkempt clothes.

Marinette would describe herself on that day as _‘sweaty and upsetty.’_

So yeah, when it was finally time to pass out and not think about stupid, sexy Adrien, she squeaked and jumped at his soft, “Marinette?”

“Yes?” she said when she turned in the dim hallway to see him in his room’s doorway. Him in pajama shorts and a faded band t-shirt, hair still wet from his shower, with five-o-clock shadow. At that point, tired as she was, frankly speaking, it kinda pissed her off that he found yet another way to make her stop breathing.

“Thanks,” Adrien said with a shy smile.

She remembered why she could never stay mad at him. “For what?”

“For moving in with me. I know everyone thought it’d be me and Nino, which would make sense, it’s a bit weirder when it’s co-ed,” he rambled to some vague point on the ceiling, “And he’s a lot of fun, and chill when we need to be too, but...

“He’s kind of a dad friend. Last time I tried to do laundry and put too much detergent, I could barely convince him to let me help by cleaning up while he worked the machine," he smiled to himself and shrugged. "Well, after he started a bubble fight.”

“Classic Nino,” Marinette smiled and nodded.

Adrien nodded back. “Classic Nino.”

“So, did he just set it to rinse and drain again, or what?”

Adrien made an _‘I dunno’_ face. “I dunno. He didn’t show me. I asked, and he just told me to relax. I think I’ve relaxed enough my whole life.”

“Highly debatable.”

“With housekeeping.”

“Okay, yeah,” Marinette said, “So you wanted me to be your roommate... to teach you how to do laundry.”

Adrien crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. “It sounds dumb when you put it that way, but yeah. I guess. Plus other stuff.”

“Other stuff? What other stuff?” she asked, “I might need an itemized list.”

“I don’t know, like ironing, and, cleaning... things. House things... house basic things. Things that people... I don’t even know,” he sighed. “You know, all that time we had to think about what we’d do for the future, all I knew is that I wouldn’t be able to make it on my own. I, uh, I just knew I needed to get out that house, more than anything.”

His voice made her heart sink.

“I needed to _make_ myself get out of that house before I convinced myself it was fine. I-I needed-” he took a deep breath, closing his eyes. He opened them again to the floor, but slowly looked up into her patient gaze. A smile crept up his face. “You... you can do anything. You always could, no matter how scared you were at first, and you make me feel like maybe I can too.”

Marinette smiled back.

“Oh, Adrien,” she said gently. She moved towards him, not knowing what she was doing until she held him in her arms, hearing his breath hitch in his chest, then continue, slow and even. “Of course you can. You’re such an amazing person.”

He melted into her embrace, weight drooping into her so much, she had to step back. He simply followed into the hall while she suppressed a giggle. He nodded softly, silently, his head resting on hers.

“I’ll be here every step of the way,” she murmured.

“Yeah.”

“I’ll even teach you how to use a washing machine.”

“Yeah, yeah...”

“I’ll listen whenever you’re scared or anything. You know that right?”

“Yeah,” she felt more than heard him chuckle. “Don’t worry about that. I always end up spilling this kind of stuff out to you. I don’t even mean to but, well, can’t say I’ve ever regretted it.”

Marinette held him tighter.

“Thanks,” Adrien repeated, “There’s no one I trust more, no one I’d rather be with through all this.”

She rubbed his back. “There’s nowhere I’d rather be.”

Which, it turned out, was a good thing, because she didn’t let go of him until he was ready. He was not ready to stop hugging for a very, very long time. Later, when Marinette was in bed, knowing Adrien was in the other room, she slept peacefully through their first night as roommates. (And so did he.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Crossposted on Tumblr.](http://booabug.tumblr.com/post/176573899628/)


	3. (adrinette) College Roommates AU, 345 words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little thing to go with the previous chapter's college roommate AU one-shot.

Adrien was kind, charming, and smart. These things Marinette held to be true. Also true: **1.** There are many different ways to be smart, and **2.** He was a very eclectic mix of intelligences.

Marinette watched from where she was puddled on the couch as he cleaned the fan.

Adrien coughed, and _ugh_ ed, and continued coughing.

He was wearing goggles. There was that.

Adrien, you see, was top of his class in a very competitive program for good reason. He lived and breathed physics. He had _eureka!_ moments, which sometimes meant Marinette had to haul her fabrics and papers away from whatever he was about to do that required eye protection.

Cleaning the old fan she brought from the bakery didn’t require lab goggles; but they were a good idea if you did it _while it was running._

Adrien coughed some more.

He continued freeing lint and dirt into the wind going from the fan blades _(‘impeller’)_ into his face.

Marinette wondered if she should tell him.

Then she remembered when one of his _eureka!_ moments meant grabbing her coffee cup and turning it over in his hand, spilling it’s contents all over the sidewalk. He had apologized profusely between mumbling constants and formulae as he covered it in calculations.

_**But apologies don’t unspill coffee.** _

So she waited until there was _just_ a bit of dust left and he _just_ got through a heavy cough before she said, “You should probably turn that off when you clean it.”

Adrien froze.

His face fell.

He coughed softly.

When he had done spontaneous calculations on her coffee cup, he had forgotten to account for some force or other early on. Realizing that, his expression was a mix of deep, deep despair, remorse, and betrayal.

He turned to Marinette now with that exact same expression, slowly removing his goggles, his hair billowing in the the traitorous air.

Adrien was kind, charming, smart, and the most effortlessly dramatic person Marinette had ever witnessed.

Her one regret in laughing at him so hard is not seeing the face he made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Crossposted on Tumblr.](http://booabug.tumblr.com/post/176580265368/)


	4. (adrinette) Soulmate AU, 500 words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know you'll find your soulmate; nature will take care of that. Knowing which element of nature is the part you don't know—until it strikes you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [AU Yeah August](https://auyeahaugust.tumblr.com/) Day 1, Soulmate. It is currently day 3, and I did day 2 yesterday, because I have lost all control of my life, and my writing, so order has little say in either.

It was said one needn’t worry about finding their soulmate. You could be born in the wilds of the Yukon, your soulmate in rural India, and you would meet. You would meet, and you would know. The process was a force of nature.

The only uncertainty was _which_ force of nature.

If Marinette had known, it wouldn’t have been disbelief that made her hesitate to reach for Adrien Agreste’s umbrella—and his hand.

For her parents, it was a stiff gust of wind that knocked them into each other, nearly making Tom bowl Sabine over. (That’s where Marinette’s clumsiness came from, they joked.) It was fitting, they said. Falling in love had felt like being bowled over, shaken up. Marinette had also heard _heart stopping, paralyzing,_ and _electrifying._

In the past, as a child, the sound of it terrified her.

Honestly, it _was_ terrifying when her fingertip brushed Adrien Agreste’s and she was _literally_ paralyzed by the jolt coursing from the point of contact to her heart, arresting it and every other muscle in her body, sending every one into spasms shaking her inside, leaving her mind numb and her brain tingling for the eternity until she drew back—fell back— into the school courtyard. She landed flat on her back.

Marinette was grimacing when the patter of raindrops hitting an umbrella canopy brought her back to reality.

An umbrella lay on the ground. The boy it belonged to was nowhere to be found. Grimace turned to squint of confusion to wide-eyed horror before she scrambled to the school entrance.

She looked down to find Adrien Agreste rubbing the back of his head, having fallen ass-backwards down the stairs.

They locked gazes. Marinette didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Adrien burst into laughter.

And he continued laughing, uncontrollably.

And she felt a giggle bubble up, despite herself.

(This, for better or for worse, was the kind of experience that would define Adrien and Marinette’s relationship going forward.)

When Adrien abruptly stopped laughing, he coughed into a fist that did nothing to hide the big, goofy grin across his face.

  


In the future, when people ask how they met, Marinette will sometimes roll her eyes and look away after her Adrien responds with, “It was a real _coup de foudre.”_ Every time, she already knows, he’ll turn to her with that same grin. Every single time. That grin that goes unbelievably smug when her giggle bubbles up, despite herself, and her soft (or not so soft) shove at him does nothing to hide it.

By that time, she’ll know that there is only _one_ man in her life capable of looking that smug, and that falling into a person, even when propelled by magic yo-yo across the sky, doesn’t typically cause paralysis.

(Not the kind experienced by Ladybug and Chat Noir when she crashed into him.)

Maybe if people knew about that part, they wouldn’t be so surprised that such a lovingly gentle couple chose AC/DC’s Thunderstruck as their wedding song.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Crossposted on Tumblr.](http://booabug.tumblr.com/post/176612865498/) Shoutout to the old stove that electrocuted me so I didn't have to look up how it feels, _and only made me more powerful._


	5. (adrinette) College Roommates AU, 2400 words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During a late night on the tiny porch of Adrien and Marinette's shared college apartment, Adrien gets very inarticulate and sweaty and confused, but it turns out okay. Later, during the day, in a school hallway without just her friends on the phone, Marinette is very frustrated and angry, but that turns out okay too. Funny how things come together like that. Thanks, vastness of outer space.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be ML Fluff Month Day 8, Late Night, and this AU was supposed to be a one-shot, and this wasn't supposed to be so long. I have no idea if this makes sense to anyone, but I'm posting it now before I don't post it ever.
> 
> I'm never doing chat text again. [Crossposted on Tumblr.](http://booabug.tumblr.com/post/176838256183/late-nights-and-space)

After a day hiding from the angry sun, the deep night’s distinct lack of a fiery ball of plasma was a blessing. Their little windward porch made it all the better. The drinks Adrien and Marinette were now nursing, sadly, were not helping.

The bottle sat on the cable spool between them, having been forced to join them in the un-refrigerated air long ago. Adrien, picked it up and sloshed it around, only to find there was nothing left to slosh.

Just as well. The sparkling juice would have gone flat on top of warm by then. He wished there was room for a cooler, or even a bucket of ice.

If he could have had his way, Adrien would have gotten them a place with some space like the bakery terrace their makeshift table was from, where Marinette wouldn’t have to hang her planters on the outside of the railing, and they had chairs where they lounged instead of slouched, and had room to move without one getting up so the other could pass—and, yes, room for an ice bucket too—but she had insisted on an even split on the rent.

So holding it in when he had to pee so she wouldn’t have to get up it was.

Ah well. It was just until she agreed to let him pay more rent. Then he could stop scouring listings for his bookmarks folder (constantly, the turnover was insane) and Nino wouldn’t have to listen to him complain about the Paris real estate market.

It would be a huge relief for his bro. He heard about it from Alya too, from the point of view of affordability issues for less affluent demographics. Then he’d read her articles, already knowing everything in it and more.

Adrien smiled and shook his head. That guy had it so bad for her, he didn’t even know.

He looked at Marinette by his side, making sure he hadn’t been to distract that he’d missed something. Adrien’s mind always wandered when they sat together like this. He couldn’t help it. It was almost dreamlike, how he felt so relaxed, so carefree.

The only thing comparable were rooftop nights with Ladybug.

(Just, you know, without either of them in a state of lowkey romantic tension.)

Adrien looked over his companion, who sat slumped in her chair for maximum surface area to air ratio as she stared out over the city’s horizon.

He melted into his seat in imitation with a contented groan and said, “Tell me about your day.”

“Ehh,” she said.

“Ehh?” he echoed.

“Ehhhhnngh.”

That didn’t sound good.

He may still have work to do on the whole social interaction thing, but noticing when people were upset had always been a specialty of his. It was maybe over an over-specialization of his. He maybe over-speculated about whether people were upset with him; or were prone to becoming upset with him, if he did the wrong thing.

Adrien turned to look at Marinette.

He kicked her foot.

She gave him a look of disbelief, which he answered with a crooked smile.

“What are you, ten?” she asked, kicking him back anyway.

“I’ll be the bigger ten year old and not point out your hypocrisy.”

She flashed back a small smile of her own, shook her head, and looked back over the city.

Dang it.

He wanted Marinette to smile again, or at least look at him, but nothing came to mind that didn’t sound ten-year-old-like. He would have to think about his words, like some kind of college aged adult or something.

Weird.

Adrien never had to think about what to say to cheer her up, usually. Then again, he usually had some idea of what was bothering her.

He was coming up blank.

It frustrated him.

Classes had started only a short time ago, but he was so quick to work out problems and concepts that his classmates had noticed already. They were making a habit of asking him if he could explain. He was happy to. He enjoyed it.

He’d trade it all for the ability to work out how to get Marinette smiling again.

Apparently, Adrien’s brain just wasn’t wired for that.

He studied the way the humidity made her hair poof out a little, and how some flyaway strands of hair stuck to her skin—they always would, no matter how she tried to keep her hair tied back—and how her blue eyes looked so blue in the way that didn’t suit her, how they drooped with weariness when they usually shone with an alertness, a vibrancy he found infectious, that found him coming back looking for more again and again without realizing it; at least he hadn’t before. Did he do that? Come to think of it-

“Space is really big,” Adrien blurted out.

Marinette turned to him. She blinked.

Adrien blinked back.

He was suddenly aware of how sweaty his forehead was. “Vast, really,” he said. His palms were hot and moist. He took them off the armrests to air out. “It biggles- _boggles._ It boggles the mind,” he continued. He decided his arms were uncomfortably warm too, and shook them out.

A smile slowly crept up Marinette’s face.

She giggled.

He found himself giggling back. (Adrien would love to say he _chuckled,_ but to be real here...)

“Did you spike your drink?” she asked, voice high with her giggle still lingering.

“What?”

“You were drinking juice just like me, right? Non-alcoholic?” she asked and sniffed the empty bottle. “Are you hiding a hip flask and sneaking whisky into your glass?”

“No!”

“Then what was _that?”_

“I don’t know?” he answered honestly. “I just couldn’t help, I noticed that something’s bothering you, and...” he looked away, over to the city. “And my mind went to how it gets overwhelming here? Not _here_ here, not the balcony. The balcony is nice. Not overwhelming- but not _under_ whelming either! Just right.”

“Yeah,” she said, “Just the right level of whelming.”

“Exactly!” he exclaimed. “Exactly the correct whelming.”

Marinette leaned an elbow on her armrest and rested her chin on her hand in mock fascination. Frankly, he did not appreciate it.

“How about space?” she asked, teasing, “How whelming is space, which is very big?”

Adrien crossed his arms. “It _is_ big.” Having his arms crossed was too hot, so he uncrossed them. “Really big,” he mumbled.

“No, no, I agree,” she said, “I’m just trying to understand what that has to do with... anything. Literally anything about right now.”

“Okay,” he said, shoulders reaching for his ears. “I know I’m not making sense, but it’s hard, because that’s the point, the point is...” he stalled, trying to think of what the point was. He could feel Marinette watching with patient amusement, which helped, but didn’t help.

Now they were finally talking. And nothing was making sense. A breath of a laughter puffed out of Adrien as tension melted from his shoulders.

“The point is everything out there,” he said, waving a hand out at the city. “We have to make sense of rent, and classes, and Paris, and sorting laundry-”

“-You’ll get the hang of it. You’re doing great.”

“Thanks,” he sighed.

Adrien turned to completely slouch in his chair, to let his head fall back so he could look up at sky. “That, though? I can’t make sense of that. The great search for what’s out there, this thing all these brilliant people are looking for, and I’m a part of it. Or I will be, once I realize what little, great part catches me. It’s overwhelming, but in a different way, you know? It’s so much that my mind gives up and just...”

He turned his head to Marinette. He breathed, “I just relax. My mind wanders, and I stop trying so hard, somehow.”

Adrien looked into her eyes, hoping she understood.

She looked back.

He wasn’t sure if she did. He didn’t know if he cared, when that look in her eyes was back, the bright, curious look that was Marinette.

Marinette’s eyes crinkled with a smile. Adrien supposed his must have too, the effect that had on him.

“Is that why you study physics?” she asked, “To try and make sense of it?”

“No,” he said, “No, no, just the opposite! The more I look, the more I find, the more I get to know, it all makes me that much surer I could never make sense of it, it-” he inhaled. Breathy with the air coming from deep in his lungs, he said, “It’s wonderful. I could keep chasing that feeling the rest of my life.”

Maybe it was wishful, but Adrien thought there was a look in her eye like she understood.

“So when things get too much,” he continued, “I think about... that. Space, I mean,” he said, glancing away.

He craned his neck to take a look at the night sky of the city of light for a moment, before he let his gaze fall back to her. “I can’t see the stars, but they’re always there. Satellites too, so far away they’d look as small, but that’s where our phones get direction from. There’s always a connection. I just have to remind myself.”

Marinette had a way of smiling at him. A mysterious way that made Adrien feel like he was a pencil mark short of solving the equation. What equation, he couldn’t say, but it felt big and important enough that it was worth waiting for the pieces to come together. Something deep down felt they would.

“I don’t totally get it,” she said, “But I like hearing you talk about it.”

“Right?” he said, grinning wide. “Space is cool.”

Marinette snorted. “You’re such a nerd.”

“Uh-huh, and you like hearing me nerd out. So what does that make you?”

“Crazy, probably,” she muttered, shrugging and tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.

“Probably.”

She stretched out of her pose, then slumped with her side against the back of her chair, fully facing him. “Keep nerding out. It’s a nice distraction.”

“Good to know you find me so distracting,” he said with a wink, and stretched all over the back of his chair.

“ _Adrien,”_ she buried her face in a hand.

“Sorry,” he said, not quite laughing and not at all sorry.

 

* * *

 

Marinette was so frustrated she didn’t know what to with herself. She had her phone out and the group chat up before she even got to the classroom door. The doorframe’s corner clipped her shoulder. She took a moment to glare at it. 

**Marinette**  
guys i rly hate this prof and this is my first class today im already so tired

**Alya**  
GIRL WHAT'D SHE DO NOW

**Nino**  
i feel u. sad and mad (smad)

With the fury of Alya stirred on her behalf and Nino sympathizing with Ninoisms, Marinette breathed a little easier as she went on.

**Marinette**  
totally roasted my designs in front of everyone  
not by name ofc but she used me as an example

**Adrien**  
What? You worked so hard on those. They’re amazing.  
You even pulled an all nighter when you couldn’t stop. Not even for ice cream which btw I didn’t entirely eat, fyi in case you need it later.

**Alya**  
AM I GONNA HAVE TO THROW DOWN?

**Nino**  
honey no im p sure itll hurt marinettes grade almost as much as itll hurt the prof

**Alya**  
DON’T YOU BE RIGHT RN MISTER  >:(((

God, she loved them. The whole thing still clenched at Marinette’s heart, but at least they took the edge off.

**Marinette**  
im rly proud of them too! i know they’re good  
but it doesn’t matter cuz i didnt look at trend data before so they wouldnt sell which is a rookie mistake and exactly what we have to avoid she says  
good to know abt the ice cream btw

**Adrien**  
I can get more ice cream or whatever you feel like just let me know.  
She does know her class doesn’t deal with the business side of things right? I remember you showing me the syllabus. Trend thing is arguable too.  
Like REALLY arguable.

**Alya**  
not to mention freaking studying data or whatever, on top of that assignment, would have been insane

**Marinette**  
i know!  
she keeps doing stuff like this its like she doesnt think we have any other course load  
thats not even talking abt her attitude and how condescending her lectures are istg if it were possible at all to switch classes i would but im trapped here  
over an hour of just wanting to die every time i dont wanna take up the chat complaining but omg

**Alya**  
nuh uh, no holding it in, this is what we’re here for

**Nino**  
if u need 2 vent VENT okey??? its 4 U

She couldn’t say no to that.

Marinette took over the chat. Once she started, she couldn’t stop, not even when the response boiled down to Alya ready to take down her professor by any means necessary, and Nino couching his own brand of anger in in his own brand of jokes.

She didn’t want them getting upset too because of her, but she did feel a bit better knowing that she wasn’t alone. They’ve said that they feel better for it too, she reminded herself.

 **Marinette**  
anyway guess im finishing that ice cream tonight

With that to end her rant, she realized that Adrien had been silent the whole time.

Now she saw ellipses by his name appear and disappear over and over.

Oh, no. Marinette had probably made things super awkward for him, and she just knew he was beating himself up for not knowing what to say.

She watched as he kept trying to find something to say anyway.

Finally, a message came through.

**Adrien**  
Marinette... Space is really big.

**Nino**  
bro wat

**Alya**  
boy, what

Marinette burst into laughter, having to muffle it in her hand.

**Adrien**  
Vast.

**Adrien**  
Like, REALLY big.

She didn’t want to be snort-laughing in the hall, even if it wasn’t that busy. Her suppressed giggling was making it hard to breathe, though.

**Adrien**  
Really BIGGLES it BOGGLES the mind.

**Adrien**  
Whelming OFF THE CHARTS.

It hit her that she had to _make_ herself calm down and respond or he would keep going.

**Marinette**  
thanks adrien :)

**Adrien**  
:)


	6. (ladynoir) Secret Agents AU, 1200 words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [AU Yeah August 2018, Day 10: Secret Agents.](https://auyeahaugust.tumblr.com/) The single most feared secret agent of any state's law enforcement, 'Ladybug' is supposed to meet with 'Chat Noir,' an agent of a crime syndicate (he prefers 'criminal enterprise') infamous for his impossible heists, achieved without any casualties. The last part is the only reason she agreed form a joint task force. She expected a better start than being tied up under a casino.

“I can’t believe this is happening already. We were just supposed to meet,” Marinette says as the blood rushes to her head. Ladybug says. Right now, for all concerned, it’s the agent of the Central Directorate known as Ladybug hanging upside-down in a casino sub-basement-

“I know! Things usually don’t get fun for days! _Week_ _s!”_

She’s hanging upside-down, handcuffed way too tightly for comfort, tied to the most infamous agent of the Panthera Prasina crime syndicate, and they’re both swinging slightly because he won’t stop moving. “This really isn’t my idea of a good time, Chat Noir.”

“Oh? Then what is?” he asks, and she can hear the smirk on his face.

The worst part is, before she knew who he was, she found that smirk so charming. She’s a sucker for a well dressed man. Sue her. Now, though... “Are you holding my hand?”

“Please don’t let go,” Chat Noir whimpers. “I’m s-s-scared.”

Now she really wishes he would hold off on all the smirking and fooling around until they aren’t in mortal peril. Ladybug pulls her hand away then uses it to smack his as best she can. “Will you take this seriously?”

“Oh, my a- _paw-_ logies,” he says, “I got a little distracted. I’m just so thrilled to be working with you, otherwise I wouldn’t have taken so long with this.”

“With what?”

The pressure on her wrists come loose. She feels the unlocked cuffs slide down to her elbows.

“That.”

“Thanks,” she breathes. Ladybug moves to rub her wrist, but stops when she feels him working on his own cuffs. “Wouldn’t it have been faster to uncuff yourself first?”

“Maybe, but,” he says, a moment before his click loose, “First things first: make sure my lady’s comfortable.”

She rolls her eyes with a sardonic smile. Her gratitude and exasperation balance out so she doesn’t say anything to discourage him, and certainly nothing to encourage him. She says, flatly, “I’ll just leave the escape artistry to you.”

Chat Noir hums in thought for a moment before breathing in and out deeply. He mutters something about _‘less exciting’_ before saying, “This will take longer. Keep your hands against your back while I work. I can’t untie the knots above our feet unless you can literally bend over backwards, and I’ve never heard it said that Ladybug is a spineless woman.”

“Must you?” Ladybug asks, flattening her hands on her back.

He starts moving. “Must I what?”

“All the backhanded compliments.”

He pauses a moment at that. “I mean them, bugaboo.”

“Hard to take you seriously when you keep calling me bugaboo,” she says, choosing not to mention all the other things making it hard to take him seriously.

“For people like me,” he says, strain in his voice. He smooths it out to continue, “For people like me, who aren’t scared of cuffs, knives, guns, or even ethics, _you_ are what goes bump in the night, Ladybug. Not Central, not Interpol, not any state agency— _you._ Codename aside, I can’t think of any name more fitting, can you?”

Ladybug can feel the ropes starting to go slack around them.

“No, but that’s why I stick to codenames.”

“Boring,” Chat Noir says with a noncommittal grunt. “Then again,” he continues, voice just as noncommittal, almost robotic, “Being a state’s agent means you have friends and family away from all this, no? All of them thinking you just have an office job with a lot of business trips, asking you to send home postcards, calling you by your real name...

“Your literal family,” he says, some playfulness back in his voice, “Not a crime family, of course.”

“Yes, my literal family, which isn’t a crime family.”

“Ah-ha!” he exclaims, “You fell into my trap. Now I’ve narrowed your identity down to the billions of people not blood related to organized crime.”

Ladybug can’t help but laugh at his theatrics. Maybe her sanity’s coming undone along with the ropes. “Assuming I’m not lying to you, like a lifelong criminal would.”

“Damn,” he hisses. “You got me. Okay, almost through, get ready to land, because we’re about to fall.”

There’s barely any tension left in the ropes now. She takes hold of one, high up, and her cuffs slide off one arm and down the other.

They clatter on the concrete below them.

That was lucky, it gives her a sense of distance. If she keeps being lucky, she won’t land on them.

She goes into freefall. Her world twirls, and Ladybug focuses on getting her feet on the ground under her. She manages, and quickly stands while keeping her balance with the rope in her hand.

She’s happy to note that she didn’t step on the cuffs.

Chat Noir landed into a crouch, and stays that way.

One of the first things Ladybug picked up in training was to always pay attention to hands and eyes.

He’s brushing rope fibres out of the teeth of a multi-tool’s saw with his right hand, while he looks at his left. He’s surveying the damage: his knuckles are red, rubbed nearly bare. One scuff and they’d start bleeding.

He stands, folding the multi-tool and putting it away with his good hand. He holds his palm up with a smirk, while his raw knuckles hang at his side. “Now that I’ve worked my artistry, I’ll leave the escape plan up to you—no need to thank me.”

Ladybug feels otherwise.

She takes his other hand and brings it up her lips. Slowly, she kisses his knuckles, taking care to press her skin to his as gently as she can.

“A kiss from bugaboo to make the boo-boo better,” she explains with a wink.

He blinks at her. For the first time, she has him at a loss for words.

She looks around, absently letting go.

“They’re probably guarding that door, but blueprints showed a service hall this way. It looks like they forgot about it,” she says, walking towards a free standing industrial shelf, loaded with cases of who-knows-what. She gives it a tug, but it doesn’t budge. Looking down, she sees it’s not on rollers either. “Chat Noir? A little help here?”

“Right, sorry!” he says as he jogs over.

Together, they lift and pull one side of the shelf away to reveal a single wooden door, painted pigeon grey. It’s so plain and ordinary looking that it’s laughably out of place, given where they are and why. It’s like the front door of a house. They look at each other, such amusement in their eyes that they don’t need to say it.

Chat Noir tries the door, and peeks into the hall when it opens. “It’s clear,” he nods and holds it out for her. “You know, I think this mission’s going to be a blast with you as my partner.”

“I wouldn’t have believed it before, but we work well together, kitty cat,” Ladybug smirks, “Even if your puns are a- _paw-_ lling.”

He scoffs with indignation as she passes him into the hall. “I heard you laugh!”

“It wasn’t at one of your puns.”

“It will be,” he says with determination, closing the door behind them and stalking after her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh, watch out, he's a dangerous man with dangerous wordplay.
> 
> Actually, the only danger around here is me, to myself, being unable to keep one-shots as one-shots. So I'll probably migrate the College Roommates AU to it's own work and this AU to it's own ~~when~~ if it gets another part.
> 
> [Crossposted on Tumblr.](http://booabug.tumblr.com/post/176940543908/secret-agents-au)


	7. (ladynoir) Secret Agents AU, 800 words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As usual, I take prompts very liberally. This time it's AU Yeah August's day 13 prompt, Fake Dating, set in the previously established Secret Agents AU. Our agents have gotten closer, and get a little physical. Because it was getting a little _too_ wholesome and fluffy around here... but my highest steam setting is still like, a light mist. (Oh yeah and there's a little plot. A smidge.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _[sigh]_ Yeah, this got real complicated real fast, so it's going to get it's own work. I'll migrate next installment here with a link, once I think of a title. Oh yeah, before I forget, I'd like to reply to comments but I haven't really been up to it hhhh but I want everyone to know I read and appreciate them all VERY MUCH u give me life and i love knowing you enjoyed the thing okay thank u

It’s the jaunty tune he whistles that brings Ladybug’s attention to his approach first.

Chat Noir’s spotted her too. The sight of his now familiar, unabashedly gleeful grin at her says as much. She smiles back with a cock of her head.

He’s lightly dressed for once. She supposes this _is_ the first time they’re meeting when the Monte Carlo heat hasn’t dissipated into late night. Still tasteful, his linen shirt and bermuda shorts covers far less than his usual suits.

It’s also much thinner.

That she becomes very aware of when her hands are pressed against his chest after he pulls her in by the hips. That single layer of fabric barely gets between her palms and fingertips feeling his lean, hard muscle, or even his heart beating fast and strong when she lingers over it.

Her own knee-length sundress only heightens the sensation of Chat Noir’s hands roving over her back, calluses on his heated palms catching on the smooth fabric now and again. He moves back just enough to smooth it out when that happens. The difference in tempo keeps her alert to the fabric rubbing against her skin, a proxy for his touch.

Friendly kisses on the cheek become nuzzling of one another’s temples.

Ladybug hears blood coursing through her ears almost as loudly as his slow, steady breath fanning over the one he whispers into, “Hi.”

“Hey,” she breathes into his.

Her hands drag over his sides, and as she feels the ridges of his body, a barely contained chuckle goes bone deep into her, in her ear, against her hands, rumbling in the scant air between them. She bites her lip. “Ticklish?”

“Barely.”

She hums thoughtfully as the hand moving towards his shoulder blade backtracks languidly to just under his arm. He chokes.

“Yes, okay?” he hisses. “More a little.”

Her giggle is cut off when he grasps her thigh and traces down to the back of her knee with a new assertiveness.

“Down, kitty.”

“What’d you expect?” he says, touch going feather light when he feels his way back up the front. “That was mean, bugaboo.”

She just gives her own throaty chuckle as she noses down his neck, nearly into his collar to give him a better view over her shoulder. Ladybug thinks his breath hitches; a detail she saves for later. (Her mind isn’t processing too well.) For now, she tells him, “White van, on your ten. Central sent chaperones to see me off. Really, it’s like they think I can’t keep my hands off you. Helpless to your dashing, debonair, bad boy ways. I swoon.”

“I see it,” Chat Noir says, soft laugh fanning down her neck. He runs a hand back through her hair. She lets him pull her head back with it. “Your two. Other cats protecting my virtue from your feminine wiles.”

Ladybug scoffs into his ear. “Your virtue. Right. I’m going to scan. Which way do you dress?”

“Which way do I dress?” he echoes flatly, “You sound like my tailor.”

She jabs her scanner into his stomach too lightly for the _oomph!_ he makes in protest. “Just trying to protect your _virtue._ Fine. Which way do you _tuck?”_

“My left,” Chat Noir snorts.

She sighs. “One day we’ll get through something like a patdown without giggling like middle schoolers.” Ladybug allows her scanner the best chance to detect a wire or the like, passing closely as she can while respecting his so called _‘virtue.’_

“You’re clean,” she says. “Go ahead.”

As he scans over her front, barely off her skin, going slow to maintain control in the narrow space between them, Ladybug wonders if such care made her own scan feel so intimate.

“You’re good,” he says.

She’s sure it’s as much a foregone conclusion for him as it was for her.

Odd that she trusts him so much, but how much trust she places and where these days is odd all over. Ladybug’s been getting the sense that it’s same for Chat Noir. He confirms it when he holds her close in a genuine embrace and says, “Nice to grab dinner with you, but we have to talk shop. There’s a lot to talk about.”

She squeezes back. It’s welcome comfort.

Ladybug’s never been one for throwing caution to the wind, but she’s never had a mission—or a partner—like this before. “The old rival spies hooking up trope isn’t the only one Central and Panthera have in mind for us, is it?”

He stays silent, goes still. Chat Noir is mostly as brazen as he seems, but no one’s untouchable. Central is her career. Panthera is his life. He has more to lose, and...

She rubs his back. “I think we’re both getting double-crossed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Crossposted on Tumblr.](http://booabug.tumblr.com/post/176981331803/fake-dating-secret-agents-au)


	8. (adrinette) College Roommates AU, 1550 words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tfw you're hopelessly in love with an idiot who has poor impulse control
> 
> (Part of College Roommates AU)

One of the many surprising (but ultimately adorable) things Marinette had learned through her years of friendship with Adrien was how excitable he could be. Their friends didn’t see where she was coming from, but she had long ago lost count of how many times she found herself pulled by the hand into a sudden sprint to keep up with a very fast, very long legged, and very energetic golden retriever in human form.

Except his hair was softer.

Being roommates only exposed Marinette to more Adrienergy.

... And Adrien jokes, which were now rubbing off on her.

She had once opened the door, and hadn’t even opened her mouth to say hello before he literally catapulted himself across the living room and onto the couch. Once he had landed, he turned onto his side in what would have been a centrefold perfect magazine pose, except for his nervous grin and finger-gun.

Marinette had given him a confused finger-gun back and asked why he had just cannon-balled himself across their apartment.

He said he had been catching a fly.

Apparently, one that he didn’t want her to see, because when Marinette went to look, he kicked himself to tumble over the back of the couch, yelping that he needed to go to washroom as he scrambled to his feet and down the hall, hands closed around his precious fly all the while.

All in all, she was learning that Adrien was probably a little insane.

If it ever came to it, they would make a smashing, if very insane couple. After all, Marinette was only falling deeper for her increasingly ridiculous friend, which could only be a sign of her own insanity.

She comforted herself by thinking of Adrien as childlike, as opposed to deranged. Marinette wasn’t entirely sure if all his long, rambling speeches about theoretical physics were actually based on research, or if it was like when Alya sent her links to bizarre conspiracy theorists. She was sure of something real there: the sense of wonder Adrien positively radiated.

He showed that sense of wonder asking about flowers they passed in the street.

He wondered over the plumbing under the sink.

He wondered over kitschy baubles grandmas bought when he saw them in thrift stores.

On a day they both had free, when Marinette had the idea of combining grocery shopping with showing Adrien how she did that on a budget, he wondered about the products on the shelves.

“I had no idea they had so many different kinds of tea in supermarkets,” he said, craning his head to look top to bottom. “I’ve only been to specialty stores.”

“It’s not all of them,” Marinette explained, “This place is more of an Asian market than most. Otherwise you’ll mostly find... teabags.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Marinette studied the green teas. Adrien studied Marinette.

Marinette narrowed her studying of green teas down to four different pouches.

Adrien narrowed his focus on her narrowed focus.

Marinette continued staring. He weighed his options of staring at her more and not spending the rest of the day staring at things. Adrien said, “Is there a problem?”

“Huh?” Marinette looked up. “Oh, sorry, I’m just trying to figure out which one of these to get... You know what, I’ll just go with whatever’s cheapest.”

He cocked his head and took another glance at the shelf labels. “You sure? It’s cheaper, but like, 150 grams less.”

“Oh, you’re right. Nice catch,” she said, putting it back.

He beamed.

“Hold on, let me work out how much it is for same amount...” she pulled out her phone to the calculator app, sticking out her tongue as she looked between the screen and the labels.

Adrien put his mouth in his palm, hiding his smile as he watched her.

She had a momentary look of triumph, before her face fell. “I forgot what the first one came out to.” She groaned slowly, deflating until she leaned against the shelf by her forehead.

His shoulders were shaking.

“Don’t laugh.”

“I’m not,” he held up his hands, even though Marinette couldn’t see that either. “I’m not making a sound.”

“I know you’re laughing.”

“How would- okay just...” Adrien hummed and paused a moment, looking the shelf over, lifting Marinette’s head off for a second with an _‘excuse me.’_ “Okay, the lin yun and gunpowder are both 65 cents per 10 grams, mao jian’s 85, and long jing’s a euro 12.”

Marinette slowly lifted her head to look at him in awe. “You figured that out just now?”

“... Yes?”

She stared. He wondered how much staring would happen in this store.

“You,” she whispered reverently, “Are going to save me so much time shopping.”

“I am?”

“Adrien...” Marinette said, grabbing him firmly by the shoulders and staring him intently in the eyes.

While really quite happy about it, he couldn’t help but feel weird about how their usual positions were reversed. He resisted the urge to grab her shoulders back, in case he accidentally initiated wrestling. He was pretty sure it was bad manners to do in the store, even if it was fine at home.

Finally, as Adrien was beginning to try and remember what _she_ did in this position, Marinette said, “You are going grocery shopping with me every time from now on.”

“I am?!”

“Should you choose to accept it.”

“Yeah! Alright!”

So it was that Adrien began to tell Marinette price per common denominator for bread; for frozen goods; even, unnecessarily, for the bulk bins.

“Wow,” she said, crossing off the last thing on her shopping list as she walked. Adrien leaned on/pushed their grocery cart and occasionally pulled her out of the way of bumping into people, or things, or displays. “That was quick, and I can already tell the total’s going to be less than usual.”

“That’s good,” Adrien said, “So what then? Just save the remainder, or like, use it for other house stuff?”

“You could. Or you could get something off the list just as a treat, like snacks.”

He gasped, arms straightening while he white knuckle gripped the cart handles, bolting upright. “The snack aisle!”

Adrienergy readings peaking, Marinette asked, “Have you... never been in the snack aisle?”

“Only where it was all sodium free, quinoa and rice chips kind of stuff.”

“You poor, poor man,” Marinette said and put a hand on his shoulder.

Adrien felt incredibly comforted.

She guided him over to the end of another aisle, then paused to gauge his reaction. He took in the sight of junk food and food that, if one were to be honest, was below even junk grade and deserved to be called garbage.

“Welcome,” she told him, “To fatty, sugary, all sodium goes city.”

Adrien slowly pushed the cart down the aisle, until he reached the assortment of cookies. He stopped, and stared up at the tall shelves of artery clogging sweetness.

He couldn’t have looked at the face of the divine with more awe.

With a _clang!_ he leapt to balance on the cart frame, knocking down at least one package of each and every kind of garbage food from the top down.

“Adrien, no!” Marinette said, horrified, as they cascaded down, the world’s worst plastic and cardboard waterfall.

“You can’t stop me!” he said, hopping off to get to the mid-low range of garbage and toss them into the air and onto his growing mound of decadent trash. “You can’t stop me I’m paying don’t try to stop me.”

 

* * *

 

‘ _Childlike,’_ Marinette thought, _‘and sometimes childish.’_

She rubbed Adrien’s back as he groaned, laying face-down on the couch, surrounded in the cookie crumbs of his shame. “If I die,” he said, voice muffled, “Bury me with my blu-rays.”

“You’re not going to die.”

“Some of the older anime haven’t gotten BD releases. Bury me with the DVDs for those.”

Marinette sighed. “Okay, Adrien.”

“Thank you.”

“What have we learned?”

“When grocery shopping, have a list of necessities and a budget on hand, and uh... make the choice between similar things based on price per unit. Right?”

“Yes...” Marinette urged, “And?”

Adrien whined into the cushion. “And... don’t buy entire shelves of the snack aisle...”

“Right, and here’s a protip: even if you do buy a perfectly normal amount of snacks, don’t make yourself sick!” She gave his back a slap. He groaned only slightly.

The lack of dramatics deeply concerned her.

She continued gently, “Don’t eat it all at once, okay? spread it out over time.”

“Fine,” he grumbled, “I’ll spread the rest out over the next few days.”

Marinette blinked at the husk of a person before her, ostensibly her roommate, victim to cookie overload, expressing his intent to continue inflicting junk food death upon himself, just slightly more slowly. “The next few- Adrien, please. Please, try again.”

“Weeks?”

“There’s collectively enough preservatives in those things for archaeologists to find them intact,” she said flatly, “They’ll wonder if you were buried how you were so you could take your hoard of cookies and anime into the afterlife.”

“... I mean,” he turned to face her, chocolate chip smears still around his lips. “That _would_ be a nice way to cross over.”

Marinette sighed and rubbed some of the chocolate from Adrien’s stupid face which she still, stupidly, found adorable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Crossposted on Tumblr.](http://booabug.tumblr.com/post/177017294303/adrienergy)


	9. College Roommates AU Note

Previous chapters have been copied to a new work; you can find [the latest chapter here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15790521/chapters/36744699)

I'm still keeping the old chapters in this work because of the beautiful comments that give me heart warmth.


	10. (general) Cat-yee-drawl, 420 words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have a shitpost AU I just call 'meowdy' that's taken over my brain and my Tumblr.

For a while, Ladybug thought he was just doing the dramatic perch again. If they stopped to use Notre Dame as a vantage point, Chat Noir would always use a gargoyle to scan the streets from, crouching. _Brooding._

But upon closer inspection, he was just being a sleepy kitty.

“Chat Noir?”

He turned his to look at her with a slow blink.

She valiantly refrained from snorting.

“We can always wrap up patrol early,” Ladybug said, crouching to be level with him. “These things are mostly for citizen morale, anyway.”

“No, I want to keep going, I’m just-” he yawned wide, leaving a full second’s gap in his speech. “-Just a little tired.”

“I think you’re more than a little tired. If we _do_ run into anything, you’ll have impaired judgement,” Ladybug said, “Even worse judgment than usual. I want to be able to sleep tonight without thinking about my partner getting himself hurt.”

“I’ll be _fine,_ you worry too-” Chat stopped and groaned. “Not you too.” His face went blank. He was unresponsive even when she waved a hand in front of his face.

Ah. So this was happening. Ladybug put her chin in her palm and looked out at the streets. These internal conversations took a while sometimes. The way Chat Noir mind melded with a previous Black Cat meant some strange quirks, and going externally catatonic while internally conferring (or ‘conpurring’) was one of them.

Generally, it was just an interlude, then back to work with Chat.

Now though, sand and dust inexplicably swept by in the wind, high up atop the cathedral. A tumbleweed rolled across the ledge of the building, before disappearing behind a buttress. By her side, Ladybug heard the clink of spurs and squeak of leather moving from the gargoyle to more solid ground.

“Meowdy, little lady,” a much deeper, slightly gravelly voice drawled, heavily accented.

Ladybug turned and stood to look up, way up, at her ‘part-time purrdner,’ his hand on the brim of a cowboy hat from which large cat ears jutted out. “Evening, Chaps Noir.”

Chaps raised a brow, put his hands on his hips, and set his face into an expectant look. She gave him a tired look back. He maintained eye contact with dadly accuracy.

“ _Howdy,_ Chaps,” Ladybug said.

He shrugged and grinned, paying her flat tone no mind. “T’ain’t no ‘meowdy,’ but it’ll do. Now let’s kittyup!”

As she watched him vault a railing to leap to the next building with a _YEEHAW_ , Ladybug wondered, _‘What is my life?’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Posted on Tumblr.](http://booabug.tumblr.com/post/177391411048/)
> 
>  
> 
> If you're confused (and you probably are), the origin of the meowdy curse can be found [here.](http://booabug.tumblr.com/post/176326298593/) Running log of the curse [here.](http://booabug.tumblr.com/tagged/meowdy/chrono)


	11. (adrinette/ladynoir) Caught, FWB AU, 2425 words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU Yeah August, 25: FWB. What do you do when you get caught in a compromising position?
> 
> This is about the tamest, silliest FWB thing anyone could ever write. It's very on brand for me. It's also really Ladynoir disguised as Adrinette except for when their friends roast them.

Adrien’s back hit the wall.

His lips were back on hers before Marinette could get out a _‘sorry,’_ the word melting into an _‘m_ _m_ _mmm.’_ He echoed her hum, breaking off with a breathless chuckle when they had to part for air.

“Okay?” she asked, hand rubbing his back.

He gave her a lopsided grin, a brow raised. “You kidding? I know you caught me looking at you a few times tonight. The way you looked back, I’m surprised no one asked if something’s up between us. Plus,” he lowered his voice and leaned in, nose to nose. “They way you kissed me just now, I know this is more than okay for both of us.”

Marinette bit her lip and looked aside. “Not what I meant. Rock climbing accident, remember? The reason we-” her breath hitched “-we’re so pent up and- _Adrien-_ can’t believe I forgot you take anything as an invitation to my neck.”

“Sorry,” he said, with one last trailing kiss under her ear, not the least bit sorry. He backed off anyway.

“Don’t worry, it’s not my back anyway. Here, see?” Adrien took her hand and laid it on his front, just under his chest. Marinette looked down to where they touched. “It’s fine, just don’t put your weight on it or anything.”

She could only take the way he flattened his hand on hers and pulled it across as a sign that he had gotten injured longer than her hand covered- in that direction.

She froze.

A cut. There. That size.

“You got this last week?”

“Yeah. Hey, don’t worry about it,” he said softly, stepping back to look at her, ready with a reassuring smile when she looked up. “Didn’t even get stitches. Skin’s already healed and everything. Still pretty red, but it just gets sore if I move wrong, that’s all.”

Rock climbing; a good excuse for a deep, jagged gash and being far from an ER.

More believable than an oversized serrated knife and secrets to keep from a hospital blocks away.

Marinette looked up, furious tears in her eyes.

His smile turned nervous. “Mar-?”

“You’re lying.”

His smile turned _very_ nervous. “Wh-what?”

“It’s sore every time you move, it has to be, how deep you got cut,” she said, hands grasping his shirt front. _“‘_ _Sore.’_ Like hell, it’s just sore, it _hurts._ I didn’t get hit nearly as bad, and my arm’s stopped me in my tracks before.”

“Your arm’s h-?” Adrien’s question and an idea, both just beginning, were interrupted by Marinette pulling him towards the couch, left behind in their wake.

This was not usually how they ended up on the couch.

He was pushed him back over the armrest to land on the cushion. Adrien winced and stifled a groan as pure, undeniable pain shot through his torso.

She could get pushy to prove a point, but this was a bit much. What was she trying to prove, anyway? He looked at her to ask as much.

He didn’t.

Marinette was barely breathing. Her face was blanched. She wasn’t wincing, but she looked pained—in fresh, bone deep, visceral pain. No doubt, what he had just felt was nothing next to this; and that kept him in place for while. How long had she stood there, looking at him like that?

Any question Adrien had before died on his lips, meaningless when it wouldn’t have been his whispered, “What is it?”

Marinette put a hand up to her mouth. She sniffed hard. “I can’t lose two of the best friends I’ve ever had,” her voice wavered, “That I could ever ask for.”

He frowned, puzzled.

“I can’t imagine losing my friend Adrien, or my partner Chat Noir, but both? At the same time? No,” she shook her head. “Please, no.”

The half-formed thought she’d jostled him out of hit him, echoing his backwards dive and chest-thumping shock, amplified to a full-body crash by it’s completion.

“Marinette,” he began, pushing himself up towards her. She rushed to him, sitting down by his side as she wrapped her arms around him. Good move. He needed it when she let her forehead fall upon his, eyes closed. He closed his too, going slack and leaning into her as he willed his other senses to take over. Her breath rolled across his skin from her nose against his. He breathed in and finished, “My lady.”

With the barest of movement, she nodded. He felt it.

Adrien felt her deep sigh too, before she muttered, “I thought this whole friends with benefits thing was supposed to be simple.”

Her voice.

Her humour.

He began to chuckle. She was right, as always. This was the farthest thing from simple.

But as Marinette started chuckling along and he lay back, taking her along in his arms, her following him without hesitation, it felt simple.

It felt natural, as overwhelming as it was. His mind was reeling. It was going back to every memory with either of the two most incredible women in his life, and revising them to memories with the _single_ most incredible woman in his life.

Unbelievable.

Yet it was correct.

It was right.

It felt right.

Through his shirt, Marinette was tracing unseen scars with a knowing better than he had himself. Some carried only vague recollections, and he was sure that some had faded from sight entirely. He remembered the ones she pressed her lips to; they stood out by the memory of Ladybug’s distress.

Gently, Adrien brushed his knuckles over the soft cotton of her shirt sleeve. He realized, now, that she’d been wearing only long-sleeves lately. He’d never forget the jagged gash he saw there, a raw, angry red completely unlike her bright supersuit.

It had sent him into a frenzy during that fight.

However worried she may have been in those past moments, Ladybug didn’t show it much. Still, even through the battle high and Chat Noir bravado, he knew she needed something from him. He had always been sure a grin and a joke would do.

But then, he didn’t know how sensitive his partner really was, how deep her empathy truly ran.

So much had changed in moments. The newness of it all left him with an uncertainty that hadn’t existed between them in years, in any form.

“What now?” he asked.

She’d never lead him astray. That much he’d always know.

Marinette held him closer and said nothing.

Adrien buried his nose in her hair, breathing her in deeply.

Her scent, and the wholeness he knew it with now, the familiarity he had now, grew from all the times they needed each other to forget it all, at least for a while. To loose themselves from life’s burdens, more than any superhero could take.

He held her tight, using a hand to undo the ribbons in her hair and comb his fingers from her head to the tips.

“What do you need right now?”

“You.”

He waited, but she didn’t say anything more.

“You have me.”

She pressed closer. “I need you here.”

“I’m right here,” he said, cradling her head.

She didn’t say anything. Fingers tracing the ghost of an injury halted. They dug in as she clutched at him.

Adrien sighed and opened his eyes. He looked at her; what he could see of her. Little more than her hair and her back. Even if he could see the rest of her, it wouldn’t show even a fraction of who she was. There was so much more.

He thought on that. Then forced a grin.

“Of course I’ll stay, but,” he explained slowly, “As much as I enjoy the make-out couch, we do have to move some time.”

“ _Chaton.”_

Her voice lacked it’s usual twinge of amusement, but it was no longer dull with dread either.

“It’s sad but true,” he sighed, deliberately blowing into her hair so it billowed with air. “Though I think I’ve made it clear I’m happy to revisit the couch with you any time.”

“Will you-” she started to raise on her elbows.

Adrien made a strangled noise.

“AHH-AH- WEIGHT. WEIGHT!”

“WAIT?” Marinette froze where she was, wide eyed. “WAIT WHY?”

“WEIGHT- WEIGHT ON-”

“WAIT ON WHAT?”

“ON HURT! HURTS!”

“OH, _WEIGHT.”_

“CAN’T WAIT, _HURTS.”_

“RIGHT,” she scrambled to move her forearms on either side of him. “Right. Are you okay? I am so sorry. I thought you said _wait.”_

Marinette watched, _waiting,_ as he got his breathing under control. They made eye contact. She hunched up bashfully and again said, “Sorry.”

He smiled weakly. “I asked you not to do _one thing.”_

She looked at him, and blinked.

Adrien honestly didn’t know what to expect. What he didn’t expect, at all, was for her to kiss him.

Marinette kissed him, slow and sweet, running her fingers in his hair, and when she pulled back, it was just so she could kiss him again. Something about this felt new. Different. Even from other times they took it slow, to savour the heat of the moment.

It was only after Adrien responded in kind that he understood. Once he took in the softness of her lips on his, the way his head tingled as her fingertips massaged his roots, then ran through his hair to roll the ends against her thumb, and the soft sigh that warmed his cheek, he felt his heart swell with that warmth.No rush, no while-it-lasts heat. Warmth, as free as you please.

And she didn’t stop filling him with the warmth he craved more of even as he was receiving it, not until she had to.

Once Marinette caught her breath, she bowed her head to whisper into his ear, “I need you in my life, you sweet, silly boy. Don’t you go getting- don’t you go anywhere.”

He moved his head closer into her, nosing her skin.

“I won’t,” he kissed her neck gently. “Never thought of it,” he assured her, planting one more soft kiss after another. “Never could leave you- mask or no. Now? No getting rid of me. Not for a second. Im _paw_ ssible.”

She didn’t quite laugh, but he could feel the little puffs of air and shake of her body in his arms. “Adrien?”

“Mmmmm?”

“Can we make this- make us offic-”

The sound of key in front door lock was something both had trained themselves to be alert to.

“Act natural!” Marinette hissed, pushing herself off Adrien.

The front door opened.

Their best friends entered.

They had managed to disentangle themselves and back away from one another.

Alya gave her roommate and their friend a moment’s stare before she heaved a world-weary sigh and walked towards her room with a flip of the hand. “Forgot my ticket to the show. I’m just going to grab it then you two can keep _‘hanging out.’”_

“Love hanging out!” Adrien exclaimed.

“Sure do!” Marinette agreed. “Lots of fun, doing nothing in particular, with a friend!”

The two laughed.

From the entryway, Nino watched.

Marinette and Adrien sweated, which they would have under anyone’s gaze, caught in their current position, but it just had to be Nino. He had a judging-but-not-judging way of staring-but-not-staring that was the _worst_.

He casually watched them, silently sitting on opposite sides of the couch, like he were on a park bench looking at pigeons.

“ _~_ _Just two bros chillin’ on a couch_ _~_ _”_ he sang softly, _“_ _~_ _Five feet apart ‘cause they_ _don’t bang_ _~_ _”_

“We do not!” Adrien yelped. Marinette had a (slightly disorienting) split-second tingle of _‘Chat’s_ _about to_ _act_ _stupid’_ sense before, “We just make out! We’re just making out all the time!”

There it was.

There was the stupid.

That was her Chat Noir. With added value Adrien awkwardness.

That was her idiot.

Marinette face-palmed.

Nino drew out, “... Really?”

Adrien nodded rapidly.

Nino inhaled deeply. For an eternity of a pause, the two were left to sweat again.

“Alright,” he finally said, “Never thought I’d ask this, or even want to know this about... anyone, really, much less two of my best friends, but I mean, it’s been years. Literal years. I gotta ask.

“How far? Like, don’t get detailed! Please. Do not get detailed. Just _-_ under the shirt, shirts off, or...?”

“Shirts on!” Marinette this time. “Shirts all the way on, hands all the way out.”

Nino pinched his nose and looked to the heavens, brows furrowed. “Okay,” he said, turning to one side, still grimacing. “Okay.” He shook his head. “I don’t know. I don’t know how to feel. I’m glad I don’t gotta form a mental image further than that, but honestly? I’m a little disappointed in you two. Not upset, of course. Whatever, dudes. You do you. Or don’t, I guess.”

_This was a new worst._

“Well,” Adrien mumbled, “She’s unbuttoned my shirt before. First few.”

“Yeah? That’s cool.”

There wasn’t really anything to say after that.

Mercifully, Alya came back soon after, leaning over the back of the couch to give Marinette a half-hug. “What’d I miss? Heard you all talking.”

“Not my place to say, hon. You can ask them,” Nino shrugged. He and Alya silently exchanged looks, and she knew exactly what there was to say: nothing. Basically nothing.

“Please,” Marinette whined, “Please tell her. I don’t want to have to go through that again.”

“Bro?” Nino looked to Adrien.

“If you love me, let me live.”

“Aight. Night, guys. Have fun. I’d say, ‘but not too much fun,’ but I don’t gotta,” he threw up an arm and left.

Alya gave Marinette a squeeze and patted her head. “I love you no matter what, girl.”

“Thanks,” she mumbled, “Love you too.”

Adrien couldn’t help but jump in his seat when Alya turned to him. “Uh,” she said, herself surprised by his reaction. “Good night, Adrien.”

“H-Have a good evening.”

Alya nodded slowly, then left.

Adrien collapsed onto the couch. He shimmied to lay his head on Marinette’s lap and wrapped his arms around her waist, hiding his face in her stomach. “Hold me,” he whimpered, “Please.”

She buried a hand into his hair to scratch his head and rubbed his side. Marinette slumped back against the couch.

She’d ask if he wanted to make things between them a real romantic relationship. Even now, she was as confident in what they had as she could be, without the minuscule chance that she was off sending her heart pounding in her ears. But right now, that minuscule chance had the added doubt that Adrien might say yes partially out of sheer embarrassment and desperation to save face.

Because frankly, Marinette wouldn’t be able to blame him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to get this out ASAP even as it spiraled out of control, so this has only gotten a once over and I didn't get the chance to do the one thing I really wanted to: expand the weight/wait yelling into more ['Who's On First'](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Who%27s_on_First%3F) jokes while Adrien is squirming in pain.
> 
> I really love the just two bros line (and [the vine it's referring to).](https://youtu.be/EwAajOtfNT8)
> 
> [Crossposted on Tumblr.](http://booabug.tumblr.com/post/177513809048/caught)


	12. (marichat) "Did you send me this letter?" 1000 words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompted on Tumblr with, _Marichat, him asking "did you send me this letter?" (Not from a prompt list or anything just kinda looked at my desk and thought hey why not that)_
> 
> Oh, nice one. I missed writing these dorks.

Marinette lay in her lounge chair on her balcony, idly sketching, when she heard a soft metallic knock. She smiled. “Come on down, Chat Noir.”

He did, and asked, “Did you send me this letter?”

The way he was grinning, teasing glint in his eye, told her before she even looked at the handwriting on the envelope that no, she did not send that letter. If she knew her partner, he knew she knew too, but Marinette was supposed to not know him that well.

“Why I have no idea!” she said with a big shrug, “Read it out to me.”

“Very well,” he said solemnly. He removed a pair of eyeglass frames from his pocket and rested it on his face. She giggled. They didn’t even have lenses.

“Dear Chat Noir,” he began. He cleared his throat. “Can I have your babies?”

“No.”

He continued in serious tones, undeterred, “Like, oh-em-gee, every time I see your _spanking_ booty on TV, my ovaries just _explode.”_

She burst into laughter.

“I never had a thing for leather before, but now just the smell of it makes me think of you and go mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm-” he continued humming. If she didn’t know his fangirls better, she would think he was exaggerating, “-mmmmmmm-” but she had gotten sadly familiar with how they were like by now, “-mmmmm. Mmm!”

Marinette was pretty sure that last bit was his for emphasis. “No, Chat Noir, I did not write that. How many _m_ s was that, really?” she asked. He turned the letter around for her to see. They did go on for over an entire line. “Oh, wow.”

He tsked, putting it back in the envelope. “I thought I had it that time.”

“Did you really?”

“Well, no, but statistically speaking,” he said, pushing up the bridge of his fake glasses, “Most of my unsigned letters are like that-”

“-I can’t imagine why.”

“-And you said you sent me an unsigned letter, so _odds are_ it’s in this category.”

Marinette gave him a flat look.

He grinned back. “You know I’m going keep reading you these until you tell me what yours said.”

“Chat Noir,” she said, rubbing her temples. She was regretting ever mentioning that she hoped he read the letter she sent in, but it just slipped out when saying goodbye after the last time he rescued her. “That was so long ago, I can’t even remember most of it. Plus I didn’t sign it because the point was, it could come from anyone in Paris.”

“Unless you give me a hint, I can only assume you mean _‘anyone in Paris who wants to touch my abs.’_ ”

“Yeah, no.”

He looked hurt.

“Not that I don’t want to touch your abs!”

He looked smug.

“Or that I do! Wait, don’t pout!” Marinette held out her hands and waved them to ward off the sad kitten eyes. “I meant I’m not _repulsed_ by you, I just- ugh. Okay. I remember what the first few lines were like, would that make you happy?”

Chat sat down and put his chin in his hands like a kid waiting for his story. “Almost as much as you admitting how much you want to touch my abs.”

“Nevermind.”

“No, I’m sorry!” he laughed. “Please. I really am curious.”

“ _Why_ are you so curious?” she asked, frustration creeping into her voice. His visits were always a blast, and she would never kick him out, but if anyone noticed him dropping by frequently... This had to stop.

Chat Noir looked at her like it should be obvious, disbelief in his soft smile. “Because it’s you?”

... This _really_ had to stop. He kept having these weirdly sincere moments that didn’t happen with the spots on. They left her scratching her head. Any longer and curiosity would kill both the cat and her.

Marinette sighed and looked him in the eye. “Dear Chat Noir,” she said, trying to recall how she had worded things, “You’ve saved me more than once, but I’ve never written in to thank you. Which got me thinking about how many people I know who you’ve saved. How many of them have thanked you?”

Now he really looked like a kid engrossed in a fairy tale.

“So... I asked them, and most of them never thanked you either. I thought I’d pass on their stories and what they have to say too, and, you know what that’s about all I remember,” she broke off, looking away and scratching the back of her head. She laughed lightly, “Umm, but one of my friends is a huge fan of yours- you’ve saved him a lot too- and this girl I babysit, you’ve saved both her and her mom from being akuma victims now and yeah... They’re thankful and, yeah...”

She trailed off.

It was silent for a while.

“Wow,” he breathed. Marinette turned to look back at him. His grin went wide and he said, louder, “I’ll definitely have to find that letter! Honestly, I don’t get the time to read them all, so... I probably missed it. Sorry.”

“That’s alright! I know you must be a superhero on top of civilian stuff so you have to be busy,” she said. She personally knew how true that was.

“Still... and this was a while ago so I might never find it now.”

Annnd Chat Noir was making the sad kitten eyes.

“Well,” she said, “I guess I’ll just to write another one.”

“You’d do that?” he asked, both his posture and his _tail_ sticking straight up. “Please do, I’ll keep an eye out for it!”

“I will,” she said, “And I’ll sign it this time.”

“But it’d help more if I could tell from the envelope,” he said, looking away in thought for a moment before smirking and suggesting, “How about you address it, _‘To Chat Noir, who looks hot in glasses?’”_

“How about _‘To Chat Noir, who looks goofy in glasses over his mask?’”_

“Please, Marinette, I’m not asking you to admit how much you want to touch my abs or have my babies here. Give me a break.”

In the end, she settled for ‘ _To Chat Noir, who looks good in glasses.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Crossposted on Tumblr.](http://booabug.tumblr.com/post/178402768693/marichat-him-asking-did-you-send-me-this)


	13. (adrinette) Tickled Pink, 900 words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompted on Tumblr with, _"Prompt: Adrien finds out about tickling. Probably by alya giving him a jab in the ribs. He becomes hooked on making his friends laugh, he tries tickling everybody. Kim isnt ticklish, alix is just like "dont even think about it. And oops marinette is exceedingly ticklish and has a habit of reflexively hitting really hard."_
> 
> Aaa this took so long... I guess I’m better with really vague prompts, it took a while for something else to click with this and give me something I wanted to write. Hope you like it!

“You’ve created a monster, you fiend,” Nino said as he shot Alya a playful smile. “My boy used to be so nice and harmless, too.”

Alya snorted. “How was I supposed to know Adrien’s so sheltered he didn’t know even know about tickling? Besides, look me in the eye and tell me that,” she nodded her head towards Juleka, “Isn’t the most wholesome thing you’ve ever seen.”

All but one of the class were in the room, waiting for their next lesson to begin. Some were seated, but most huddled in the back around Juleka and her phone. On screen, a video she had recorded earlier in the day played. Rose, having been ambushed by Adrien, had fought back, leading to a prolonged tickle fight and laughter purer than spring water now floating out of the speakers.

“It’s pretty wholesome,” Nino mumbled.

Juleka gave him an unimpressed look. “They’re like puppies.”

“They are,” Nino admitted, “They’re like the most wholesome, fluffy puppies.”

He ducked his head and tugged his cap down over his face. Alya pulled him into a hug and shushed him, saying that it was okay to cry.

Alix shot the pair a smile and roll of the eyes before she said, “Did he try to tickle every one of us? I mean he backed off with me, I just had to give him the look. How about you guys?”

“I’m not ticklish at all so it was like whatever,” Kim shrugged. “But he kept trying anyway for like, a solid minute or two. It was kinda impressive.”

“Same here,” Ivan nodded. “He even climbed on me at one point. I gave him the look when he saw Mylene, though, so that’s another miss.”

“He got me,” Nathaniel mumbled, “It was... it was awkward for both of us after.”

There was a moment of silence. Rose patted his arm.

All heads turned to Max. He cleared his throat and said, “No comment,” which of course just made everyone lean in closer and more curiously. He looked around the room. Finding himself in luck, he pointed towards the door, “Look! Adrien has locked on to a new target!”

Everyone’s gaze shot to the front, and Max sighed in relief.

Adrien stood just to the side of the entrance. Anyone coming in would have noticed, assuming that ‘anyone’ wasn’t rushing and rustling through her bag for who-knows-what. As fate would have it, that ‘anyone’ was doing exactly that.

Which let everyone know that wasn’t just anyone.

“Adrien, no!” Alya yelled, palm slamming on desk as she surged toward her hapless friend.

But the future refused to change.

Marinette ran in.

Adrien pounced.

Neither could have seen what was to come. She, oblivious to his presence; he, oblivious to the fact that his sweet, shy, and unerringly gentle classmate would respond to the touch of his fingers on her ribs with a strike driven hard into his gut.

He doubled over, lungs emptying themselves of air.

She whirled around to see just who she had savagely rammed her elbow into.

By some miracle, they kept from smashing faces.

No, thanks to the combination of uncanny reflexes, Adrien shooting a hand out to stabilize himself on the doorframe behind her, and Marinette _just_ stopping herself from using her grip on his front to throw him, they managed to keep from sending each other to the dentist by way of high speed mouth collision.

Which still left them with their lips brushing.

Also, rendered utterly senseless.

Unless you count the awareness of one another’s warm breath fanning over skin. Or the tingles up their spines. Or Marinette finding the eyes she stared into an unmistakable, verdant green that left no doubt who she had just knocked the wind out of. Or Adrien feeling his own heart pounding under the heat of her hand on his chest (and tightness of his shirt from being wrung in her fist).

Neurons fired haywire. Processes crashed; only basic services remained. Marinette’s instinct was to remain frozen while she rebooted. Adrien’s, to his great misfortune, was to speak.

Or wheeze, really, when he breathed, “Next time,” and missed the widening of her eyes at his words, “Next time, just _ask_ me to lean down.”

“N-Next time?”

 _Next time what?_ A question. Adrien was being asked a question. Question meant forming answer. He could do that. He just had to bring together informations, which he did all the time, he would just-

No. He didn’t. _He didn’t._ _He did not!_ _Apologize,_ _apologize now_ _!_

To his great misfortune, his ability to speak decided to hide in shame instead.

Someone cleared their throat beside them. Adrien slowly turned his head to see Ms. Bustier standing just outside the classroom with a barely restrained grin on her face and laughter in her eyes. Moving only his eyes, Adrien looked at his and Marinette’s position. Panels from shoujo manga flashed through his head in instant recognition.

“Class is about to start,” Ms. Bustier reminded gently.

Both scrambled from the doorway to their seats, this time hitting heads in the process. They did manage to blurt out apologies, so, there was that.

Adrien chose to focus on that small victory as he hunched in his seat. His face was burning. Yet a bubbly feeling filled his (slightly sore) gut and spread up his chest. He thought, _‘Well. Aren’t I tickled pink?’_

Then _‘... Don’t betray me, puns.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My love of Ladybug reflexively throwing people or putting them into a submission hold is second only to her yeeting Chat Noir at enemies. [Crossposted on Tumblr.](https://booabug.tumblr.com/post/178973010463/prompt-adrien-finds-out-about-tickling-probably)


End file.
